Spaghetti Junction

   The past two weeks has been one of the most overwhelming periods of my life! Two weeks ago last Monday, I separated from my boyfriend of nearly 3 years. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm not one to hurt anybody, however, I've been selfish to myself for a long time in putting other people in front of me and kicking my happiness, growth, and emotions to the side. I said, "No more of dis' shit," and I finally put me first and it feels great! Our relationship wasn't perfect and he was not a bad person, but the dynamics and complexities got the best of us and I had to make me a better person. In the midst of me moving out of the house, my Toyota Camry broke down and that made moving from the suburbs to the city a challenge! Not only was it an unexpected expense I definitely didn't need, the timing was horrible. They say "when it rains, it pours." Well hell, I have a damn severe thunderstorm right over my head. I did get everything settled in my new temporary lodging with a coworker who lives in the vicinity of my job. That's made life so much easier. 

     I also ended my two year run with my job with Delta Air Lines. I love Delta, and I enjoyed my job (especially the travel), but I had to do something that I felt I would be happier with. So after going through some processes, I began my job today as a flight attendant for Delta Connection/United Express. I'm very excited about this position because it fits my personality to a tee! I love to travel so shit, I might as well get paid for it. They bombarded us with information including that I will have to move away from Atlanta. Atlanta, Georgia is one of my favorite places in the world, but I believe I need to venture out some, though I KNOW I will be coming back because I do enjoy it here so much. This is the first time in my life I've been solely on my own and so I want to explore the world and see what it's like to be on my own. So upon successfully completing my training, WASHINGTON D.C> will be my new home. I'm semi-excited about it, but I'm going to make the best of it. Two weeks is not a lot of time to move so between classes, I'm working out things to get myself ready to head up North.

     To make things even more interesting, there's this guy that I'm really attracted to. I know, I know... it's soon, yes, but for some reason, this guy has been in a different entity than anyone else... PERIOD. We've talked off and on for 5 years, a more lately, and he is nothing short of amazing! He's smart, beautiful, talented, compassionate.... some of the feelings I was lacking in my ex.  I think what amazes me even more is that this guy actually likes me! Have you ever seen someone who is so gorgeously attractive and has a lot of people falling all over them, and then they like you and it makes you say, "Damn, yo... why is you feelin' me?" Although I can see myself with this person and I believe they can see themselves with me, right now, I want to focus on getting myself together and settled so that way when I'm ready to take it to the next level, I'm stable enough. One thing that's different about me and break ups is that I don't dwell on them. For me, dwelling on them makes the forward movement slower; so I heal quicker by not dwelling on it. I won't say I'm fully healed, but I know this move to Washington D.C. will help me out in that category. Now, it's purely coincidental that this guy I like lives in that region, so I guess it's an opportunity to really get to know this guy on a face-to-face basis... though our first encounter was like... purely unexplainable.

     I feel like I have a SPAGHETTI JUNCTION of feelings going on, coming from each direction. It's so much in such a short period of time, it's like, "WOW." I don't know what the future holds, but if all holds right, right after Thanksgiving, I'll be in Washington, by December, be making my rounds, and maybe around January, have me my own spot so I can be ready for this new relationship by my birthday in February (laughs). Guess we'll have to look up and see what The Heavens Are Telling. Until then, I'll get through this spaghetti junction feeling real soon.